Decreasing Overwhelm Around the Holidays

Most women report that their baseline in life is to feel “at capacity” already with all of the tasks that they are juggling. Now, let’s throw in the holiday season and all of the “extras” that come with that. The baseline can become feeling completely overwhelmed on a daily basis. For an extra dose of fun, let’s also add in going through a break-up or divorce at this time of year… Now you might just feel like you are in survival mode. Some of that can’t be changed, but let’s look at a few ideas for things you can try and shift.

If you are feeling particularly overwhelmed, take a moment to hit the pause button and do some assessment. Make a list of every item swirling through your mind, big and small. Next, go through the list and identify all of the items that are self-imposed. Look at the items you identified and decide which ones are really important to you vs which ones can be moved to a later date or where you might be able to adjust your standards in order to decrease the sense of pressure.  For example, are you hosting for the holidays and have on your list that you need to “find the box with your fancy dishes in it,” but that just creates one more thing to do? Maybe you give yourself a free pass on that this year and buy some paper dishes with pretty holiday patterns to use instead. Are you trying to stick to your normal work-out routine of going to the gym 3 days a week, but that feels stressful while also juggling holiday plans? Re-adjust your expectations down to 1-2 days a week at the gym or doing some shorter work-outs from home. Try to adjust any of the self-imposed items you find so that you feel a little less pressure.

Decreasing Overwhelm Around the Holidays, Rain Into Rainbows LLC

This is going to sound counter-intuitive if you are already feeling very overwhelmed, but it actually can be helpful psychologically to add in some items that are just your choice. Schedule in a facial or dinner with a close friend. Start reading a book that has been on your list forever, or begin researching a new hobby. Yes, those things create more to hold, but the fact that you are choosing to do them for yourself can actually help to counter-balance some of the feelings of overwhelm that come from all of the things you have less of a choice about. So, even if it is just one thing, add an item to the top of the list that is something you would enjoy.

Ask for help. Hang-on, before you stop reading this right now, stay with me for a few more sentences. I know you might be thinking, “Everyone is probably overwhelmed at this time of year and I don’t want to burden anyone…” Yes, but let’s think about that a little differently. That also means that everyone else could probably use some help too. There are ways to combine tasks and help each other. Maybe you could use help with taking your kid to an activity one day, so you ask your sister if she could do that, but you also know that your sister is stressed about having to make a bunch of cookies for a holiday party- you could offer to come over one day to help her bake. Maybe you are overwhelmed at the thought of researching and comparing health insurance plans for the new year and have been putting it off, and a good friend of yours is stressed out by needing to come up with ideas and order gifts for her family members- you could plan an evening to get together and order in food and both sit down with your computers to each do your tasks in the other one’s company. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and to suggest ways that it could be mutually beneficial.

This time of year is notoriously challenging for people. The Hallmark movies make it look like a magical time of year full of happy surprises, and it can certainly have it’s magical moments, but there is also a lot of stress. As a psychologist, I hear about the realities of the holidays all the time, and trust me, it is not all magical for everyone else. Use some of the strategies mentioned in this blog to try and decrease the feelings of being overwhelmed just a little. This season will pass and hopefully can end up including some good memories too.